Cosmic Audrey

Archive for the ‘deviatii de stereo’ Category

Pleased to miss you

In deviatii de stereo on February 13, 2011 at 5:51 pm

 

L. ,

In deviatii de stereo on February 10, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Viaţa pe care mi-o doresc a devenit foarte simplă. Lumea şi lucrurile din ea au devenit foarte, vei spune, lumeşti. Nu ştiu dacă nu mai pot sau nu mai vreau a lăsa aici ori altundeva cuvinte întretăiate, pătate, cifrate, reflecţii maligne.

Viaţa pe care mi-o doresc nu e lipsită de nuanţe. E mai curând bogată de alb, galben şi lumină. Aici, însă, nu mai este loc pentru mine. Nu mai sunt o pagină.

Vreau să uit deviaţiile de stereo. Vreau să uit alergătura. Cu ele,  scriam pentru Un Om, fie el cine ar fi fost. Mesajul meu aruncat în eter, spre el sau el şi mine. Dar descopăr că îmi place mai mult să scriu pentru oameni. Descopăr că vreau să le ating mecanismul fragil ce le ţine rost de suflet, şi să-l fac să strălucească.

Vei găsi, poate, că mă afund într-o normalitate călâie. Pentru mine, lucrurile se simplifică. Conturul lor a capătat o formă ce revocă cutremurul, suspansul, temerea. Mă mulţumesc să iubesc şi să mă acomodez cu fiecare zi care urmează.

Nu ştiu dacă e bine sau rău. Vom vedea.

 

In deviatii de stereo on February 10, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Maybe some women are never meant to be tamed, but need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with.

You know?

I have a theory:

In deviatii de stereo on February 8, 2011 at 2:40 pm

relationships are like clothes. As you’re hopeless in love or struggling in a bad relationship, you realize you want those people so bad but still – they are so unattainable that the only way you could have some piece of them is by losing yourself. Same with dresses: you might cry over a Chanel for not wearing it but you’ll cry more after spending all your cash on it and getting no chance to wear it.

You felt just like the storm breaking after a long silence,

In deviatii de stereo on February 7, 2011 at 9:28 pm

like blood pumping back into circuit through every artery straight to the heart. Like understanding in a car crash. It was surreal and it made me see so clear that no other instance will be similar, no matter how hard we’d try to repeat it. Consuming and can’t-live-without-each-other love, the kind you hope to run into at least once in a lifetime, if you are very lucky. Sometimes it hurts even to breathe. And some other times I wish I felt nothing. I wish I went to bed every night in your arms and not to an empty pillow, I wish you knew me well enough so I didn’t have to shut myself down whenever the things in my life before you overwhelmed me and I couldn’t talk about them. I wish I didn’t wander the streets thinking how did I get here, I wish I didn’t chainsmoke the day off so I can count less, I wish I didn’t have to admit that I’m all by myself right now. Sometimes I walk home thinking this never actually happened. Then I lay in bed and the past, the memory crawls in and under every inch of my arms, my neck, my face, invading my head, filling the lines I traced underneath my breasts. And I wake up