Cosmic Audrey

You felt just like the storm breaking after a long silence,

In deviatii de stereo on February 7, 2011 at 9:28 pm

like blood pumping back into circuit through every artery straight to the heart. Like understanding in a car crash. It was surreal and it made me see so clear that no other instance will be similar, no matter how hard we’d try to repeat it. Consuming and can’t-live-without-each-other love, the kind you hope to run into at least once in a lifetime, if you are very lucky. Sometimes it hurts even to breathe. And some other times I wish I felt nothing. I wish I went to bed every night in your arms and not to an empty pillow, I wish you knew me well enough so I didn’t have to shut myself down whenever the things in my life before you overwhelmed me and I couldn’t talk about them. I wish I didn’t wander the streets thinking how did I get here, I wish I didn’t chainsmoke the day off so I can count less, I wish I didn’t have to admit that I’m all by myself right now. Sometimes I walk home thinking this never actually happened. Then I lay in bed and the past, the memory crawls in and under every inch of my arms, my neck, my face, invading my head, filling the lines I traced underneath my breasts. And I wake up

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